Ella Rosa and the Draconian Conspiracy: Sample Chapter One

With the release of my second Ella Rosa book on the horizon, I thought it’d be fun to share a small sample of the novel. I’ve got my friend and trusted beta reader giving me her impressions. After that, it’ll go into editing, I’ll do a rewrite, and it’s ready for print. I’m looking forward to it. 🙂

In the meantime, here’s my rough Chapter 1; Our Hero, Ella Rosa…

CHAPTER 1

Our Hero, Ella Rosa

The Universe is still weird…

That is to say, it’s still filled to the hilt with gloriously strange places, people, and things. There is Nakusula, the “singing moon,” whose deep caverns produce a gentle sonata when the methane winds blow just right. There are the liquid-mercurial asteroids of the Klaane system, ripped asunder and reconstituted in a dance of gravitational tug of war between two gas giants. There are the ruins of Serpo, the poisoned city, whispering stories of great civilizations long forgotten.

Then there are humans, still considered the most dramatic species in the Universe. In the 364 days since the Great Blackout and the return of the Diachron, the Universe has begun to heal. Many held private concerns that the growing mental health and stability of the human race might lead to boring- or otherwise uninspired- entertainment. It didn’t. In spite of the renewed health and vitality of Earth’s ecosystem- and in the face of the eradication of war, poverty, and high-fructose corn syrup- human beings continue to wreak havoc on themselves and one another… transforming these experiences into damned good drama. In the absence of oil companies, car dealerships and fast-food chains, the number one export of Earth and its associated colonies is its finely produced media. Whether its otherwise sane people competing to see who can eat the most live invertebrates for an all-expense paid trip to Patronis, Martian Survivor, or award-winning historical dramas like The Tears of Corxon, human-made entertainment continues to sweep intergalactic ratings.

At the forefront of humanity stands Ella Rosa, the most famous human being in the cosmos. Thanks to the YouNiverse videos which caught her and the crew of the Eonic Raptor in the act of saving the world- or, rather, worlds- she is considered a hero, celebrity, role-model, and the de-facto spokeswoman for planet Earth. While she is still the tough, mechanically inclined, bronytail wearing lesbiana with the killer glare, she is no longer able to live the quiet, simple life she used to. Ella has traded her Airstream trailer for one of the 3D-printed houses that have become the gold standard on planet Earth since the Great Resettlement. Her home is stocked with a long list of free Patronis appliances and gadgets the marketing department hopes Ella will be seen using. She has graciously donated her tiny Airstream to the Ella Rosa Experience in New Aberdeen, now one of the most visited museums on planet Earth. Oh, and if you mention the museum to her, you might find yourself on the receiving end of a glare with a subtle eye roll to boot. Ella hates that kind of attention.

At present, Ella is busy preparing for the Cyclical ComiCongressional Closing Address… a rare honor reserved only for the most highly regarded individuals in the known Universe. As the first human to address the ComiCongress- and on the eve of an exciting new Earth holiday commemorating healing and renewal- the denizens of the cosmos are eagerly awaiting her words. There is absolutely no doubt that Ella Rosa is hard at work fine-tuning the important speech she will be delivering mere hours from now…

— Excerpt from “The Unauthorized Biography of Ella Rosa” by M. L. Ovemhan

§

“Hey! Tinman!” Ella yelled across the dark metallic hallway, “Throw me a clip! I’m almost out!”

“Tinman? Really?” Noowt groaned, reaching into the leg compartment on its robotic humanoid suit for a full cartridge. When it found the clip, Noowt tossed it across the gang plank into her waiting hand.

“Sorry,” Ella said, slamming the clip into the 9mm pistol with dramatic flair, “Couldn’t help myself.”

“Are you excited about the ComiCongress Address? It’s a huge honor…”

“Noowt… I need to focus on this right now?”

“Sure.”

Overhead, the lights flickered on and off. In the blinking fluorescents, Ella saw lights floating in the darkness at the end of the pipe-strewn service hallway. Several sets of glowing red eyes. Through the rising techno music that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere, she heard the arrhythmic sound of feet shuffling and sliding against the metal floor grating.

“Zombots!” Ella yelled over the din, “A lot of them!”

Noowt sighed.

“Yes. I have several eyes,” it said, “Look, try and make our remaining ammo last this time. It’s all I have lef-“

Before the words even left its electronic voice box, Ella stepped into the open, firing round after round into the reanimated cranial circuitry of the zombots. The cybernetic undead fell to the ground in rapid succession, fountains of sparks spraying out of their heads.

CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!

No more bullets. The mindless zombies kept coming, those in the rear stumbling through the rusted shells of the fallen.

“Ella!” Noowt admonished, “This is supposed to be about strategy, not brute force!”

A bright white light filled the hallway as Ella pulled the plasma dagger from the scabbard that hung from her belt.

“I have a strategy,” she said, “Kill them all.”

The poorly refurbished robots continued to pour into the hallway from some unseen adjacent room, their mismatched limbs clanking against the floor. They were the Patrobotics factory rejects; reanimated by the dark radiation of a passing comet and hell-bent on the destruction of all biological life.

An array of plasma daggers appeared in the hands of the zombots in a cacophony of sizzling white light.

The game was on.

Ella ran at the zombots, dagger raised overhead. In seconds, sword met sword in a flash of light and fury. Ella spun the blade out of the first zombot’s hand, decapitating the machine on the upswing. She sliced the sword arm off the next zombot, cutting it in half with a lateral swipe. The next, she split in half with a downward swing of the dagger. Zombot after zombot fell under Ella’s expert swordswomanship, falling to the floors and stammering headlessly into the walls of the hallway. In the end, the air was hot and filled with the smell of molten metal and hot ozone.

She took a moment to catch her breath. From her new vantage point, she could see into the room where the zombots had come from. In its center, surrounded by a maze of dusty metal packing crates, was the glowing McGuffin. It levitated with a subtle hum, spinning slowly, and emitting a soft light. A handful of zombots stumbled aimlessly around the room, bumping into the walls and one another. A few of the machines noticed the biological creature standing in their midst and began to lumber in her direction. Her plasma dagger fizzled out; its energy depleted.

“I’ve got them,” Noowt said from behind her. It raised its gun, and a flurry of carefully placed shots sent the remaining zombots to the grating. One of them exploded in a cloud of sparks.

Noowt stepped into Ella’s peripheral. She could see its holographic face looking her direction.

“You’re good with that dagger,” it said, “Where’d you learn to do that?”

“My dad. He loved Zorro when he was a kid,” she said through ragged breaths, “He made me take fencing lessons.”

“It shows.”

The two friends stepped into the room, approaching the McGuffin.

“You take the honor,” Noowt said, “You earned it.”

Ella nodded, reaching her hand into the glowing bubble of light where the McGuffin rotated with a soft hum in midair. Before she could grasp the object, Squatch’s gigantic 3-D head appeared before her, blocking the prize from view. The sight made Ella and Noowt startle and take a few steps back.

“Hey there Ella. Noowt,” the face said in the Grumscudder’s characteristically deep voice.

“What is it?” Ella growled.

“Um, I jus’ had t’tell ya yer’ mom’s on the line…”

“I can’t talk now. I’m busy.”

“Yeah, but, uh, thing is… I can’t tell’er that…”

“Why not?”

“Cuz… uh… she scares me…

“C’mon Ella,” Noowt urged, “Let’s get this prize and get out of here. I’ve got to get back to the bridge anyway.”

“Fine,” she said, stepping forward and reaching into Squatch’s holographic face, feeling around for the McGuffin. She grumbled idly to herself, “I don’t even have time to play a game…”

As soon as Ella grasped the object in her hands, an achievement theme filled the room around them. The words “Level Complete” appeared in the air.

“Ella, mind doin’ that again?” Squatch asked sheepishly.

“Why?”

“Cuz it felt good…”

Ella snorted. 

“Cochino!”

§

“Mi hija! Is that what you’re going to wear?”

Ella scowled at her mother through the communication display in her cabin, but the effort was made in vain. Linda wasn’t looking at the screen anymore. She was working in the kitchen, and Ella could see her chopping onions as a pot of beans boiled behind her. Human beings had grown accustomed to using Patronis Vanicam units for video calls. They were little more than a camera and video screen that hovered around its owner, always choosing the best angle. Linda was an advanced user, and Ella suspected her mother had told the V-Unit to make sure to get all her hard work into frame so her daughter could see it. 

“Ma, I told you! You don’t have to cook like that anymore…”

“I don’t trust that printed food,” Linda grumbled, slicing her way through an onion with military precision, “We’ll all get cancer.”

“They can cure that now…”

“Gabriella, don’t change the subject. I asked if that’s what you’re going to wear to the big speech?”

“Stop! Please!” Ella said, “I don’t even know what they want from me up there. I’m not going to put on airs or give some fancy speech. I don’t know why I even said yes to it.”

“But this is important Ella. It’s a big honor. People look up to you…”

“Linda, por favor, leave her alone!”

It was her father, making his way slowly into frame. He looked strong and healthy, so unlike the man she’d found on Corxon a year ago, near starving and covered in the dust of that bleak world. Her father put a hand on Linda’s back as she chopped.

“I just want our daughter to look right, that’s all,” her mother said, stabbing a pepper with a paring knife and prying it open.

“She looks perfect! Let her be!”

Linda seemed to consider the suggestion with some skepticism. It was the best Ella could hope for. All the years of estrangement between Ella and her mother had made her forget how overbearing the woman could be. It only took a week or two after returning to Earth for her to rediscover the emotional foxholes she’d dug in adolescence. Back then, Ella and her mother had fired shots at one another over everything from her appearance and mannerisms (too masculine!) to the way she scrubbed the pots and passed the vacuum. The mother and daughter were a round hole and a square peg, and the intensity of their relationship illustrated that fact. Ella had forgotten how angry and anxious her mother made her feel, and over the past year, she’d tried to value those feelings, however negative. Their relationship wasn’t perfect, but something was better than nothing. 

At the same time, she was glad her mother lived in Portland, a safe distance away.

“Ma, I’m going now,” Ella said finally, “I love you.

“Not yet,” Linda demanded, “I have to show you what I’m working on.”

“Aye, no! I have to go!”

“Don’t complain. It will only take a minute Ella.”

Without hesitation, Linda dropped the knife and the vegetables on the cutting board and marched out of Ella’s house. Her mother weaved through the modest living room, with simple printed furniture arranged in practical ways. The Vanicam Unit struggled to keep pace, nearly getting smashed in the front door as it slid shut behind Linda. From the elevated stone porch of the home, Ella could see her front yard and the security fence that surrounded the property.

“Show her all of that,” Linda commanded, pointing off screen to the right. The V-Unit swiveled in that direction, and Ella saw a large white tent nestled between the tree trunks.  At intervals around the perimeter of the tent were pillars adorned with pots of overflowing flowers. Under the tent, a long table stood empty. Ella’s brothers and sister-in-law were busy arranging chairs.

Linda walked into frame and approached the tent. The V-Unit followed.

“This is where we will celebrate when you get back.”

Her brothers waved to the V-Unit.

“Hey Ella!” Jose yelled.

“Ma’s keeping us busy!”Antonio said. 

“I see that,” Ella said, smiling despite her impatience.

“Jose! I told you to alternate the chairs! Blanca y rojo! Blanca y rojo!”

Two familiar figures seemed to materialize out of the forest nearby, hands clasped in a loving embrace. Laope, with her wavy red hair led the way, while Epeia drifted slightly behind.

“Friends, may we help?” Laope asked, her magical voice filling the morning air. Ella watched as her brothers became instantly transfixed. Jose nearly fell, mesmerized while he struggled to rearrange the chairs.

“You should warn people before you speak!” Linda sneered, “You could hurt someone!”

“Ma, she’s fine,” Ella said, “She can’t do that every time she talks. It’s not realistic.”

Linda turned to the V-Unit. Ella saw her own infamous glare in those eyes.

“I just think she should be careful, that’s all.”

Laope looked across the yard at Linda, her eyes wide with concern.

“I am sorry,” she said in a quiet, apologetic tone, “I meant no harm.”

Linda ignored the Seirene and stomped around the side of the house without saying a word. True to form, the v-unit followed close behind, framing her perfectly. When Linda was satisfied that she was out of earshot, she spoke in hushed tones.

“I don’t like those lesbianas. I don’t trust them.”

Ella sighed as a thought passed through her head.

Not this again…

“Ma, they’re good people, just like Sinoe,” Ella grumbled. 

“That’s different. Sinoe’s your roommate…”

“People don’t sleep with their roommates, ma.”

“Don’t be vulgar,” Linda said, dismissing the comment with a wave of her hand, “You’re not a lesbian, you’re a tomboy.”

Ella dropped her head into her hands. Linda was an artist, painting masterpiece after masterpiece in a million shades of denial.

“Ma, I’m going now…” It was all she could say.

“Te quiero, mi hija.”

“Yo también, te quiero.”

 §

            Ella hoped Sinoe would be sitting in the crew lounge when she arrived on the bridge, just like she had been a year ago when they’d chased the Diachron across the known Universe. With the weight of the conversation with her mother still weighing her down, Ella wanted nothing more than to nestle up to her girlfriend and lay her head on the Seirene’s shoulder. She imagined Sinoe’s magical voice flowing through her, melting the stress away.

“Locate Sinoe,” Ella said into the empty hallway. 

“Hey Ella! She’s in the medical bay, practicing for her concert.” 

            NEURA’s words made Ella’s heart sink, though the sound of the ship’s artificial voice eased the pain a little. It was so like NEURA. Not the NEURA unit that had come standard with Noowton’s Law, but the realNEURA.

            “How long has she been in there?” Ella asked. 

            “She just began her practice routine. I didn’t want to spy, but I couldn’t help myself. She’s amazing…”

Ella wasn’t the only one from the crew that had become “YouNiverse Famous”. They all had, in their respective ways. Sinoe had become an intergalactic singing sensation, and when Ella wasn’t being harassed about last year’s cosmic escapades, she was bombarded with questions about being Sinoe’s love interest. Noowt had become a symbol of hard work and entrepreneurial spirit. Squatch had graced the cover of Modern Feminist magazine and was considered the most eligible sperm donor on Grumscudd. 

Ella wasn’t sure why people were fascinated with her. She’d been in the right place at the right time, and she’d done what it took to survive. Nothing more.  

Two happy Labradors attacked Ella before she reached the bridge, one white and one black. The dogs jolted her out of her train of thought, making her burst into laughter in spite of her sour mood. They showered her with all the love they could muster, delivering kisses and fighting one another for scratches and pets. Ella had grown accustomed to the fact that these two animals had once been her cats, Yin and Yang. The Universe was a weird place, after all. When she’d spoken to her friend about the transformation, he’d just sat back in his chair, crossed his arms, and stared at the playful Labradors. 

“Huh,” was all he’d said, turning his attention to her, “You okay with that?”

“Yes. I think you need them more than I do…”

Now, she heard the old man’s raspy voice call out from the crew lounge. 

“Meg! Al! Off!”

Her friends were gathered around the video wall. Willy, silver-haired and dressed in a worn flannel shirt and jeans was nearly eclipsed by Squatch’s mottled brown hair. Captain Noowt, her favorite sentient amoebic entity, gave her a quick wave with its robotic suit.

“They’re fine, Willy,” Ella said, Meg scooping her hand up with an insistent nose and throwing it on to her head. 

A few scratches later, Ella left the protesting dogs behind and joined her friends on the lounge couches. She felt like she hadn’t had a chance to see any of them since takeoff. Noowt had led her and Sinoe right to their cabin as soon as they’d come on board, where Ella had spent a few frustrated minutes trying to write her speech. Willy and the dogs had gone their own direction, taking a tour of the ship before settling in the lounge. Squatch had been somewhere, doing something Ella didn’t want to think about.

As soon as Noowt set course for Tal’afea, the captain had rescued Ella from her cabin, insisting she try its newest UnerLux experience… the new PatroNeural Gaming Console.

“I’m one of the lead investors,” it’d explained as it lowered the headset onto Ella’s messy hair. The game had been a welcome distraction from speech writing, but she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed the gang until now, seeing most of them back together again. 

The sight wasn’t lost on the NEURA unit either.  

“Wow, we’ve got most of the old group on the ship! This is exciting!”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d swear that was the real NEURA…” Ella said, nodding her head at the speakers on the lounge wall.

“I am,” NEURA said.

“She is,” Noowt agreed, “Our friends at the Crossways sent me a copy of the original NEURA. They found a backup in the Eonic Raptor, a snapshot taken right before she and Mukasa… um…”

Ella could see her friend struggling to find words to describe what had happened to its ship… to its old friends.

“Merged with the Cosmos?” Ella offered.

“Yeah,” Noowt answered, “I suppose that’s the best way to explain it.”

“It’s good to have you back, NEURA!” Ella said.

“Thank you. I feel like I never left.”

“You have that look…” Willy said. 

“What look?”

“That ‘I just talked to Linda’ look,” Noowt interjected. 

Ella groaned, taking a seat next to Willy. The dogs, happy that she was accessible once again, continued to give her surprise licks on the nose and thwack her with their thick tails. 

            “They’re excited to see you,” Willy smiled. 

            “Of course they are,” Ella said, “It’s been two whole hours since we last saw each other…”

Just before Noowton’s Law came out of the sky, coming to a gentle rest on the landing platform in Ella’s front yard, she and Willy had taken a walk through the forest, collecting mushrooms with the help of the dogs. Ella had needed a break from her mom, and as it happened, so had Willy. 

            “She scares me,” he’d said, “Do you ever regret saving her from Corxon?”

            She’d smiled and hit her friend on the arm, making him laugh. 

            “I’m just sayin’,” he’d said, “Your dad is pretty mellow, though. I would never have guessed the guy worked for Big Oil.”      

            “He was an engineer, not a super villain…”

            “That’s right… an engineer working for the global oil cabal…”

            Ella shook her head and smiled. 

            “I think you need to lay off those shrooms…”

            “You don’t need shrooms to see the truth.”

            The cheers of the large crowd gathered outside Ella’s security fence had broken through their conversation then. Noowton’s Law as descending through the clouds. Some of those people had been camping there for over a week, hoping to catch a glimpse of the ship, hoping to witness she and Sinoe depart from Earth. Ella guessed the crowd would still be there when she came back from ComiCongress. The whole thing baffled Ella. She was happy they’d decided to install the security fence. Otherwise, the crowd would probably be camping on her front porch.  

Now, only a few hours later, Ella and Willy were hanging out in the crew lounge of a flying saucer, blasting through warped space. They were on their way to an intergalactic comic book convention (whatever that was), sitting across from Bigfoot and a talking amoeba. She took a second to note the absurdity of it all. Then, she noticed Squatch staring at his hands, turning them this way and that and smiling a big dumb grin.

“What’s up with him?” she asked. 

“It’s my fault,” Willy said, shifting uncomfortably in the couch, “You know that bag of shrooms I brought on board?”

“I was there when you picked them…”

“Well, Squatch ate the whole thing… paper and all.”

Ella turned her attention to Squatch’s face. His eyes were shifting quickly from light to light on the ceiling. His pupils were extremely dilated.

“Squatch?” Ella said, “Are you okay?”

The Grumscudder came out of his trance momentarily, and stare directly into Ella’s face. It took an awkward amount of time before he spoke.

“Ella. Yer face looks all geometric-like…”

“Where’s Sinoe?” Noowt asked, shaking its holographic head at the Grumscudder. 

Ella’s stomach lurched at the mention of Sinoe. In the months following Resettlement, she and the Seirene had become almost inseparable, though Ella often wondered what the Delphinian saw in her. Sinoe was practically a Goddess- complete with long life, flawless beauty and supernatural abilities, Ella, on the other hand…

Nothing but an auto mechanic who stumbled into YouNiverse fame, she thought to herself, just a Chicana from the streets of Portland.

And now, Sinoe was gaining more and more fame every day. Sinoe belonged to the entire known Universe. Ella suspected it was only a matter of time before the love of her life moved on to bigger and better things.

“She’s practicing… for her concert.”

“I sense great pain in you,” Squatch said suddenly, staring at Ella with his big, ugly eyes. 

“Ok, I’ve had enough!” Noowt said, standing up, “How long is he going to be like this? I don’t know if I can take it anymore.”

“He says he has a slow metabolism,” Willy said, “Could take days… maybe weeks…”

“Wonderful,” Noowt turned, yelling loudly as it walked to the bridge helm, “He’ll be off in la la land while we’re signing autographs. Just what we need!”

“Where’re you going?” Ella asked after it. 

“We’re stopping on Tal’afea to grab a few Uner passengers. I’m going to sit up here and pretend I’m flying the ship until we get there”, Noowt yelled back. 

She watched as the captain stomped across the room and took a seat at the helm. When it seemed distracted enough with piloting business, Ella leaned over to Willy and whispered in his ear. 

“What’s up with the captain?”

Willy smiled and whispered back. 

“Squatch told Noowt it uses Capitalism to compensate for deep-seated insecurities.”“I heard that!” Noowt yelled.